And Then It Hits You…

There are moments that strike you when you love people.  Moments that tug at your heart, break your heart and bring tears to your eyes.  These moments could occur when you love the living, the healthy and whole, the sick, or those who go before you.  Each moment is precious.  This post is going to be about those moments with my children.

My adopted son…it was such a journey to bring him to our home.  There were MANY MANY heartaches along the way…including a little boy who didn’t make it to our home, but whom we still hold in prayer along with his family.  I look at my adopted son often while we are on adventures…days at the lake, days at the amusement park, camping…I think of where he could be if not with us.  It brings me joy to see him experiencing great things and even the “small things” like cuddling on the couch for movie night.  These things he may not have known if God hadn’t brought Him to us.  And where would we be without his smile, his laugh and his crazy energy?  How richly God has blessed us!  We had multitudes of people praying for him and God answered with His perfect plan.

My daughter who we feared would never come…not because she had health issues, but because we had already experienced a loss of a child and my pregnancy with her was a bit stressful.   She is all grace…she is sweet and caring and the moments that strike me are when she tells us of how she wants to please Jesus.  She approaches His feet with genuine requests and full belief.  She came a bit early and the doctors weren’t sure her lungs would be developed when she was born.  It makes me chuckle as I recall having those same multitudes pray for her lungs and she was THE LOUDEST baby I have ever heard.  😉

My youngest.  We had some scares with him.  The doctors were pretty convinced that he would be born with Trisomy or Down’s Syndrome or a heart defect.  He had all the warning signs.  We prayed and again asked all our family members and friends to pray for a miracle and he was healed…we believe he was healed.  Up until the last ultrasound (and there were a lot) the signs were still there for one of those issues and he was born perfectly healthy.  Those memories come back to me in a flash when I see him enjoying life, learning, running and laughing.  Those memories also flood me when I see others in the same place whose news did not turn out the same as ours.

I think God gave me these moments so I would not take them for granted…and I am afraid I still do at times.  But each smile and hug and laugh is precious and bring about more moments and memories.

Finally, my Joshua.  Joshua means The Lord is Salvation.  We prayed for his name and God gave us that name in a very unique way…it came in the mail.  True…very true.  Anyway, I am blessed to know that is the name He chose for my baby boy who went on before me.  So many moments remind me of him.  Of course, just like my other children, I think of him daily.  I don’t cry everyday, but there are still days that I cry for him or my heart breaks for him.  The typical days that bring a flood of memories include his birthday and holidays.  Certain songs will be a trigger as well.  Sometimes beautiful days, good family days and happy times trigger a twinge of sadness also, because I wonder what he would be like or how he would add to our family.  Yesterday was pregnancy and infant loss awareness day…I pray for all who have lost children for any reason at any age.

Despite the ups and downs, the joys and heartbreaks, and even the times when we fell apart…we are richly blessed.  God has given us joy in each of our children.  Each and every one is precious and brings special and sacred memories.  Sometimes going through the days these memories just hit me and I know I have been blessed and that my Lord and Savior holds these children in the palm of His hand.

 

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