Choosing Joy and Begging For Mercy

The past week I have been grumpy.  And not just a little…I have not been a pleasant person to be around.  I let people get under my skin.  I am not one to enjoy drama, rudeness or intentionally hurting someone’s feelings.  I am not one to think it is ok to forget common courtesies…letting people know of a change of plans, doing what you say you are going to do, basic politeness.  I am someone who actually listens to people when they talk…something I fear is going by the wayside.  So…I get frustrated when people don’t seem to extend the same courtesies, do thrive on drama and attention, don’t listen.  (sigh).  I think the listening thing hits especially hard because I am with little people all day long who are still learning that listening is what you are supposed to do.  Plus, I am not one to drone on … I am generally pretty quiet.  So when I do talk…to an adult…I just want to be heard.

Anyway, my first problem (my problem, yes me) is that I let this little stuff bother me.  People all around me are going through HUGE life crises or at least life changing events, people around the world are suffering and dying, and I am concerned that someone didn’t listen to me…wow!  Can someone say selfish?

My second problem is, while people legitimately irritated me over the past week (in the secular world view) I still failed to choose joy.  I let myself be effected and in turn effect others who didn’t want to see my grumpiness.  Surely, surely, surely I was not a pleasing follower of Christ and that is and should always be my first priority.  How many people didn’t/don’t pay Christ with common courtesy, on top of all else they/we did/do to Him, and in His last breaths He was concerned and prayed for them and us.

My third problem is that being grumpy is exhausting and not fun!  It made me miserable and those around me and then I felt guilty and it was just bad all around.  If those people in my life want to choose drama and attention, my response to them should not be grumpiness, but pity.  How sad if someone needs to be that self centered.  How sad to want to feel miserable all the time.

And yet, I felt miserable for foolish things.  And I AM NO BETTER!  I am sure I drive people crazy, say things I shouldn’t, am selfish at times and just generally don’t act like others think I should.

So in my grumpiness I learned, I need to get closer to Christ, be more like Him, be kind to others, be respectful without being a doormat, and generally not let silly things change who I am.

I CHOOSE JOY!

And I beg God to forgive me for being selfish, judgmental and down right yucky!

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2 responses

  1. I have so been there!! You are not alone sister. Sometimes in my selfish past I wouldn’t quit being grumpy & yucky until I’d made someone else just as miserable – and then I’d be happy!!

    I think God smiles brightly when we realize on our own that our behavior wasn’t pleasing to Him. He knows that our conscience is tender towards Him. It’s our human nature to want to respond to drama in frustration and irritation. The fact that you recognize that your response wasn’t Christ-like, is Christ-like in itself. You’re aware of how your behavior affects others – so many drama queens haven’t got a clue!

    It’s hard work to be sunshine everyday, but God is with us in our struggles and set an example for us in Christ: that we should follow in HIS steps!

    Big hugs for you today!

    • Thanks! It is so much nicer to be joyful! But sometimes I do get frustrated when people take advantage of that, BUT then that is just me being selfish and human again. Ahhhh….someday I will be perfect because of Him and with Him. 🙂 Of course, not on this side of Heaven.

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